The Alcoholic Octopus

Making the heart of mortal man rejoice

The alcoholic octopus 
With a drink in each hand
Yes, wrapped in eight tentacles
were beers from eight lands

For sharing she cared little,
so don't you dare ask
And never, ever, get between
that cephalopod and a cask.

Everything's better after
8 bottles of beer
And when in a stupor 
she knows nothing of fear

She's started one or two fights
on an occasion or four
And because of  all that
courage, she ends up on the floor.

Once in a fit of judgment so queer
She made quite a poor decision I fear.
She tied the knot for sure and for certain
By marrying a turtle, then it was curtains!

Now with a 100 little turtlepuss 
mouths to feed,
There are much more pressing 
Items of need.

And she's got no money, 
energy or time 
for bottles of whiskey,
Beer, or Wine.