An old friend died last week (Feb 24). He was old, but also, I’ve known him for almost 40 years. I honestly thought he would live forever… .(not hyperbole) In no small part because he was a real hard-head, by that I mean he was stubborn. That wasn’t always a bad thing. In fact it meant that over the life that I knew, he was always steadfast & reliable. He was also a huge positive force in my and others lives. Fore me personally, he sometimes took on a bit of a fatherly or grandfatherly role… This created resentment sometimes because I have a dad and & grandad.. but the net was a positive. He got me my first job (as a roofer) & was instrumental in helping me develop my profound faith.
When I was 12 or 13, I traveled with him and his wife to work on his mom’s house outside of Chicago… At the time, it was the furthest I had ever been from home. One time a few years later, I was working for him as a roofer & he came by my house to pay me because I had pneumonia. He paid in cash in those days & in my stupor, I threw my pay in the trash. $300 down the drain. He felt so bad, that after that he started using checks. Gosh, so many stories that involve him… But one thing he was known for was his dumb jokes… so I want to write some down so I remember them.
Here is one good example:
Q: Why do astronauts go to the sun at night?
A: Because it’s cooler, of course!!
Or another: ‘Boys, if you don’t want your wife to turn into a nag, treat them like a throbbed!’
If you ever stated you were getting a hair cut,
He would admonish, ‘You should get them ALL cut!’
In the future, there would be no milk, for the Bible says there will be UTTER destruction.
Once, we went to a pool hall for lunch (my brother and I). We got back he said, ‘If you want to avoid getting stiff in the joints, STAY OUT of the joints!’
I would be remiss if I didn’t take moment to tell you about Victor Wilcox. He and my friend were my first trade of time for money. He was ancient of days even when I was 13. I’ll never forget seeing such a strong old man. He would push a wheelbarrow full of shingles to the edge of a roof and dump them. He was a hard worker and a kind old man. It was only a fe years later that he fell off of a roof pushing a same-filled wheelbarrow. It didn’t kill him! He was too tough… but it did take a toll. Now that I think about it, I have a bunch of Victor stories too… another day.
This one isn’t a joke… but a testimony to the value of his stubbornness… It’s usually considered a weakness, but on this particular day in May when it was 100º, I’d had enough of roofing & I just laid into the guy…. Reading him teh riot act… he was ‘selfish’ & ‘a slave driver’, on and on. I had (have) a real temper and I didn’t hold back. But the whole time, he just stood there & took it. He just looked disappointed. I finally got in my car (ahem, bat mobile) & sped away. I apologized the next day & he was very gracious. I still feel bad about it.
My last year of high school, I discovered that I coudl take a vocational class & work a job for 1/2 a day. It was GREAT! I got out of school & I got paid. Of course, my good friend hired me as a carpenter-roofer. One day, my instructor came out to a job to ‘give me a grade.’ Of course, he was dressed for school teaching which meant wearing leather soled loafers. That’s a bad match for a wood-shingle roof & he almost fell off! Here we were two bunk-heads & we were smarter than a college-man! My friend told that story many times over the years.
‘Pete & Repeat went to the lake. Pete fell in. Who was left?’ Of course, you would do the logic & the joke would repeat.
And this one is not a joke: He postulated that w/ a big enough tarp, he could capture and ride a cloud!
‘I was so bright as a boy, that my dad called me sunny.’
‘God’s favorite game, we know this because the 1st thing he wrote about in the Bible was: the Big - Inning.’
Then there was the one Batwoman never cared for: ‘I’ve been married 3 times. Oh, yes… my first wife died from eating poisonous mushrooms.’ Everyone would always gasp, then… ‘my 2nd wife died from a blow to the head, she would not eat her mushrooms.’
Then there were the: RULES TO BE A ROOFER:
Water runs down hill
Payday is on Friday
Falls don’t kill, Stops do
Rocky side up, black down
Stay out of the valley
Or this gem, one of my favs that I use al later time:
‘You can live in this world without brains…but you cannot live in it without money!’
Fine as Frogs Hair
See a man about a dog
In a police action in the S Pacific, I just shot over their heads
10:30, see you at Hardees
If you put bananas in the diff (differential; he used to sell used cars), you could get the car sold & let it be someone else’s problem
Even a broken clock is right twice a day
These permeate my entire life. Whether you loved or hated my friend, on etching is certain:
He made an impact.
And who can ever forget the ‘Pioneer song’? As one of Jehovah’s Witnesses, Pioneers are those who volunteer 70+ hours a month teaching and building. It’s one fo the most rewarding ways to live.
I don’t know if he made this up, or picked it up, but he would sing it 1000’s of times over the years.
“Enjoy yourself, it’s later than you think.
Pioneer while your still in the pink.
The years go by as quickly as a wink,
So enjoy yourself & pioneer, it’s later than you think!
Enjoy yourself, gain God’s approval too!
Pioneer, it’s the best work you can do.
Now As Yourself, why can’t I be one too?
So pioneer, the end is near,
Jehovah’s Word is true!
Toot - toot”
You want to know how vital you are to the work? Put your hand in a bucket of water, then quickly remove it. The hole you leave is the same size as the one you will leave….
We pass wine @ the annual memorial of Christ’s death (bread too). The glass normally comes back full or mostly full. But once it came back completely empty. The time the wine glass came back empty.
He had a little ugly dog
Every washing machine needs a good agitator
Once there was a flood, trapping my friend and his wife in teh trailer where they lived. So my mom and dad went down & ‘Rescued’ them. They were so excited to see my folks & often related how relieved they were. My dad repaired and repainted this canoe. He let me paint this eyeball.
Mossy, wet wood shingles are SUPER slick.
We locked a lot about falling. But one time he fell for real. It was really, really bad. Punctured lungs, broken ribs, a real near-death experience. The real shame is that it was just a small repair. Up & down, no big deal, unless you fall 8’ off of a roof and hit concrete.
Dennis B Ott
1-27-46 — 2-24-22
‘See You In The Funny Papers’
